It's Time

Well I am sure that by now everybody that reads this is aware of the face that I have had some serious contemplating and praying to do to figure out what I am going to do. I had a dream a few nights ago that really affected me. I dream that I sat Ty down and I broke up with him. That was a hard dream to have. But I got to thinking, why would I have a dream where I said I felt like our relationship wasn't progressing unless there was somewhere inside me that actually felt that way. It was hard realization to have, I mean I have been with him for 4 years, that is not something that I wanted to think about. But I did and I prayed a lot and all these things kept coming into my head like it has been four years and we are no closer to getting married than we were a year ago. Maybe we aren't supposed to that is why we haven't. It is a scary thought to have because I have been with him for so long and it is comfortable. MAybe that is why I have stayed so long, because it is comfortable. I mean 4 years is a very long time. It is definitely not a matter of love, I love him and I know that he loves me, that is the hardest part of all of it, but I do believe that there isn't just one person in this world that we are able to love. I guess it is just time. I am definitely hesitant and fearful of what the future will bring to me and I am so sad that this will hurt him a lot, me too. I have never broken up with anyone before and I am not sure how to do it, but I know that I need. So I imagine for the next little while I am going to be a wreck. My friends and my mom have all said that "i am a catch and I will find someone soon" that is slightly comforting, but I don't really think that I will be in any sort of shape to really date someone for a while. Well now I feel like I am just ranting on so I will stop. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers:)